The Microwave Generation (Part 1)

“♪♪♪♪♪ Ooh Mwambie … Aje..Aje! Aje na rafiki zake…..Aje!♪♪♪♪♪” so life seems good especially when listening to such music in my new “moti” Toyota Passo…hehehe…lesser fuel consumption machine…eeh..a few coins accumulated over my probation period only to be paid after my confirmation. Yes, I am now driving…and you know what… from the new rental place that I moved in last weekend. My end destination is  Mumias to watch the Ingwe’s game….Life is sweet. Oh did I mention I am doing six-figure now “upper limit”…ooh now you know!

I slow down my ride and pick a few friends, aah, ladies of course, and not just ladies, hehe .. brownskins, hashtags…tihihi…. just as you thought, you know we say being a gentleman never goes out of style. So the two ladies get in and I notice as usual they are a complement to each other. Wait for a second, let me ask this Mafisi Sacco question, “ladies how come when you are in pairs, you tend to compliment, either you are tall, then she is stout, slim and your pal slimmer or she is beautiful but you are “a descendant of  Ballotelli”. And the other party tends to talk more than the latter. Why? Ok. Men do not get this.

Then….Brian calls “Buda Boss vipi, foam ya leo ni gani, nakuchorea tu….Wasupa tu….matortoise maze, nikwom au vipi”…Brian my guy…this guy… Ooh my workmate, he is non-alcoholic and knows his ways around the wheel, now I can spoil myself a lot, who would not want to have such a guy by his side the day he anticipates to get wasted, so I invite him over, the ride is full now.

At the gas station, I fill some gas and we leave for Mumias but on reaching Ekero wayside hotel in Ekero {300M from Mumias}, I see many fans having lunch and just because the hype is on I ask “ladies, anybody in for some Nyama Choma?”. These events cannot go down without a bottle of cold water so at Mama Watoto Supermarket I stop to pick drinking water, yes water which I can afford now in this new-found status. Brayo…is not in the car so I call him. “Eeh Buda,uko wapi, game itaanza kama bado hatujafika” Brian replies, Iza mseeh, nakam, niko ju ya mama watoto nachukua spices nakam.” I first get puzzled since he is not married but after getting to understand my location, I wait patiently.

Now to make you understand better Mama watoto is a supermarket on the ground floor of some building and the shop which brian was in is on the first floor so literary “yuko juu ya mama watoto”

So when I get to the stadium, I pay for all the guys I am with since the budget falls below Ksh 1000. The game turns chaotic and it ends 15 minutes later, the other team was given a penalty against my home team, as usual, we can’t accept and move on the Raila way.  So we decide to get back to town so that I can impress the ladies. Truth be told I have fallen for one but I can’t express it to her so Brian decided to advise me to show my wallet power. Enyewe if you can’t face your fears you will never be anything.

Reality then downs to me that I mixed food types, I had lunch at my house, then some Chomas before football and now fries after the game so the occupants within me are demanding an exit, you know “the exterior way”,  I quickly convince Brian to drive us back home. On the way, I do remember that I need to buy tissue paper, so we make a short stop at Nakumatt, at the toiletry stand it takes me twelve minutes to choose the tissue I would use. “So right now shit has got class!!” So funny!!… Yah so much fun like Bungoma police station that has recently employed a security guard who closes the gate at 6:45pm ukigonga unaulizwa “we Nani?”

Now, this is me the descendant of some generation….the microwave generation!!

Follow this space for part 2: Cash crunch period….baby daddy issues……investment flops…….

© JMS 2020

Leave a Reply